Some people have a hard time moving on and forgetting the things they may have experienced in a given situation where they feel that they have been ghosted or taken advantage of. If you are the one who ghosted someone, you may or may not need to give an explanation. You may never know how your actions have affected someone, positively or negatively. And so it could be a matter of just giving a viable reason so that the person can end their assumptions or possibly forgive you for your actions and close that chapter of their lives. If you cut someone off permanently without any real explanation, it is as if you keep them hanging on or going out of their way to find out the truth.
If you haven't been ghosted before, you may be wondering where this term was coined from. Ghosting is when someone suddenly stops communicating with you and you are not aware of the reason why. Sometimes, this happens because the person is that selfish and so coward as to not wanting to confront you about it. The person is exhibiting ghost-like behavior. The person being ghosted may try to contact the 'ghoster' via text messaging, phone calls and Facebook inbox messaging. The 'ghoster'won't answer any of these messages or phone calls out of fear of any hostile confrontation. The person being ghosted will often give up after several tries, accepting the fact that the relationship has come to an end, even though, the reason is not obvious. The person being ghosted feels less of a human being and more someone who was used and abused intentionally, even if that was not the case. The person also feels that the 'ghoster' was self centered and unkind. It is just not a good situation. When you are a 'ghoster,' you are considered to be a coward for running away without explanation. So, you may have to fix this problem by providing an explanation, although, you really do not have to do so, if you choose not to. However, karma is a bitch and what goes around always comes back around.
Now, the explanation and questions that the ghosted person might have is why did you do it and was there something wrong? Did they do something to upset you? Of course, the person would want the specific details, possibly to know how to deal with a future relationship or just for their own peace of mind. Many of us have been ghosted several times in the past, if we told the truth. For that reason, we know how bad it makes us feel not knowing the real excuse.
When someone does ghost you, you have a lot to complain about. This is especially true if you really liked the person and possibly missing them. Not knowing why they left without any warning is the hardest thing. Can you imagine how that person feels right now with not knowing the real truth about why you left? It is not a good feeling. In fact, that person may be lamenting after you and spending time reminiscing. The person might even be blaming themselves and pining for you instead of moving on with their lives. So this person who has been ghosted feels caught in the past and in a bubble, so to speak. And it is your entire fault because had you put closure to this, then the person would be able to move forward. That is why an explanation from you is seriously necessary.
The ghosted person might also have feelings of the depression and it would be all because of your actions. You might make the person so angry that it goes over into a new relationship that the person may be in. We are all a product of our circumstances, but some people may be able to handle it more than others. Once someone gets ghosted, the person might start a pity party, which could lead to full blown depression after a while. The ghosted person might think that they have been punked and for that reason may feel like crap or feel like an idiot for being so gullible. They may feel as if they had let their guard down.
Why didn't you tell your ghosted date why you abruptly left? And why would you think that you didn't owe any explanation? While, it is understandable that you had an impulse to leave, the ghosted date will usually want to understand why you dumped them. Figuring it out on their own is not a piece of cake and is really unnecessary because then they would be only guessing and assuming without knowing the real truth. The fact that there wasn't a constructive conversation before you left makes it worth your while to right the wrong.
If this was just a casual fling, then the story would be different. You probably would not owe this person any explanation if you had no level of commitment. So, it also depends on the situation you were in. A casual fling is just that. People sever these relationships when they want to do so without any specific reason. However, just out of the goodness of your heart and so you don't leave any baggage behind, it would still be nice to give an explanation in a casual fling situation. Some people walk away without explanation to the fling because they might feel it is not worth their time and energy nor do they want to deal with the confrontation either.
Most people are not bad nor do they exhibit intentionally bad behavior to hurt others. But things happen in life and it appears that the action or behavior of others is meant to be bad. In addition, what one person will do might be different from what another person will. Each of us has a different standard of behavior to abide by. Most times, the 'ghoster' might think the other person doesn't care whether they hear from them again or not. For that reason, the 'ghoster' may act nonchalant and consider it no big deal. However, that is not the right attitude to take on. You have to be mindful of your actions towards others and put yourself in their shoes to understand whether something is good or bad to do. There will always be a disconnection, if you don't. Depending on how you treated the individual while in the dating relationship or casual hookup will determine whether you can make that confident phone call to explain why you ghosted them.
Let's say you went on a date and decided to hook up with the person after on a second, third, fourth and even fifth date because you felt a connection. After a few months, things change for whatever reason, but you don't know what happened to change things. But, then all of a sudden, you see each other less and then one day, the calls and the text messages stop. You are caught off guard and have no clue what went down. Wouldn't you want to know what happened? Suppose it went a step further and there was no explanation, but you happened to run into the person months later, what are you going to say? Are you prepared to help the person being ghosted to finally get an explanation? You have to be ready with an explanation because then it will feel awkward between you and the person. You probably will feel embarrassed for being confronted on the streets when you could have dealt with it privately. So, it is in your best interest to provide an explanation before you are confronted with it.
The person being ghosted is going to feel ignored, worthless in some cases; have low self esteem, lack of confidence and possible no desire to take on a new relationship. The point is that your actions can affect that person in negative ways. Therefore, it would be best to reach out and provide the explanation of why you had to end it. You could send a quick text, letter, or just pick up the phone and make a quick call. Either way, the end would come sooner for that person, if you made that effort. It would be easier to move on and possibly start a new relationship because there would be closure. See, you never will know what is going on in someone's head and you don't know if your behavior will make or break someone else. You cannot assume that this person will be OK and so no explanation is necessary. You just cannot!
If you want to be considered a nice person, even after a breakup, then put some effort into being nice. You don't have to make excuses for your actions. All you have to do is to give your side of it and hope it will be accepted. If not, then the ball is no longer in your court and you would have done your part. So, by then, you have nothing else to say. As long as you handle the situation with grace, integrity and dignity, and deliver your message with clarity, kindness and empathy, your job is done!
What if the 'ghosted' person was a moron or jerk? Well, in that case, you probably don't want any more interaction with someone like that. That person needs to be left alone without any further contact. That person will get the karma that they deserve. This is the only exception to the rule. Otherwise, if you didn't have a problem with the 'ghosted' person, then it is an obligation to end it appropriately. You never know if you will see this person in a capacity where you might need help and this is the one person who can help you. So don't burn all your bridges. Leave some of them standing.
If you treat people how you want to be treated, then it makes the dating game less crazy and so many people won't have to be walking around hurt, bewildered and depressed. You have to do your part in making sure that dating is enjoyable and not always a ghosting experience. No one wants to feel abandoned and that is what the outcome will be, if you do not handle it right. It is just a natural response so that you don't leave a disgruntled, unhappy and sad person. Yes, before you move on, you should put an end to everything that may have gone sour. Even if it is just an innocent explanation, give it anyway so you can take that burden and responsibility off your shoulders.
There may be different reasons why people ghost. Sometimes, it might be for their own safety as the 'ghoster' might feel threatened by the other person and not want to risk having a confrontation. The 'ghoster' might be afraid of rejection, guilt, accusations, drama or embarrassment. The fear of the other person might be the main reason and so they will often exit such a relationship quietly without explanation. If you are scared for your safety, then that is enough reason not to want any contact with the other person. In some cases, the 'ghoster' exits a relationship that is too burdensome; such that they have lost contact with their longtime friends and even family members. However, if you are going to do it for this reason, you should say so.
Be respectful to anyone that you have had a relationship with and avoid conflict when it is not necessary. Go out of your way not to hurt anyone. Keep all your future options opened and not closed. If you ghost someone, you should provide an explanation for all of those reasons.