Missionary sex can get a bad wrap but it doesn't have to be boring!
When it comes to sex positions, often missionary is considered one of the most boring ones of all. If you tell someone you prefer missionary, they may accuse you of being a drag or not into very exciting sex. Missionary sex is one of the most basic and classic sex positions, but that doesn't mean that it has to be boring or uninteresting! In fact, there are many things that you can do to make it more interesting. After discussing the basics of missionary sex, we'll go over some tips that you can use to spice up missionary sex, like putting your legs over your partner's shoulders or wrapping your legs around your partner's waist.
Missionary sex is a classic sex position where the man is on top and the woman is underneath him. The man is generally in control with the thrusting and speed of everything while the woman is in more of a passive position. The origins of the name are a bit cloudy with no on deciding on which one his historically accurate. Regardless the position is most often associated with heterosexual sex and is also believed to be good for reproduction. However, this position can still be used by non-straight couples and for those not interested in reproducing! This is also a position that doesn't necessarily require penetration and can be good for foreplay. This is often the first position people try when first having sex. And since it is one where you can look at your partner, it is also often seen as a more romantic or intimate sexual position.
Missionary sex is often perceived as boring because it's one of the first positions you ever try out. Since it is the first, it is seen as the safest. When it comes to sex, it can be desired to be adventurous, and of course a "safe" sexual position is anything but adventurous. However we are here to say that missionary doesn't have to be boring or unadventurous! There are plenty of things you can do to make the position more exciting.
The first thing, however, is mindset. If you go into missionary sex thinking it is the worst, then likely it will always be boring and unexciting for you. Try to think of it in a more positive light and it will help you to think outside the box with all that you can do and feel with the position!
As with many things when it comes to sex, often times the more adventurous things get associated with men and the safer things get associated with women. Statistically this can be true, however it's important not to pigeonhole either gender into stereotypes or positions! There are plenty of men out there who enjoy missionary sex and plenty of women who dislike it. The reasons that men statistically like missionary sex less is because it is more intimate and less animal-like. More men will say that they enjoy doggy style, for example. Women like missionary sex because it gives them eye contact and a potential emotional connection with their partner. However, the men who enjoy missionary sex say they like it because it gives them more control over their thrusting and rhythm. And the women who dislike it say it's because they want more control or to not have someone on top of them. As you can see, the reasons for liking or disliking the position are super varied and totally depend on the person!
Whether you really love missionary sex and just want to spice it up a bit or for whatever personal reasons it may the the only position you can explore (no judging here, of course), we have some tips that can help you get the best out of this traditional position. There will be no boring missionary sex on our watch!
The ten tips below are very specific with positioning. Of course, like we mentioned before one of the most important things to keep in mind is mindset and outlook. These nine tips won't do anything if you aren't allowing yourself to enjoy this position!
Another important thing to consider is to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to missionary sex and other positions. Have you talked about why that is your main position or go-to position? Perhaps you both think that it's the other's favorite and you've never actually had a discussion about it? Make sure that you're both on the same page and you will really enjoy missionary sex!
This may sound like you need to be super flexible but actually it's fairly easy! Since you are lying on your back, most of the rotating is done via you hip and you aren't actually stretching all that much. By lifting your leg to go over your partner's shoulder, you are increasing their penetration and allowing them to get deeper inside of you. It should feel great for the both of you! It can be easy to cramp up, so make sure to switch legs or give them a rest.
Once you master one leg, try getting two legs over their shoulder! This means it will be harder for you to push back and your partner on top will have to manage all of the thrusting. However, it is an optimal position due to how deep you can get. It's also extra sexy for them to have your legs over their shoulders. From their perspective, it is a major visual turn on! This position will also feel good for you because your partner will get way deeper than with regular missionary. It may be so deep that you'll have to take a break! Who knew missionary could be that good, right?
This may take a bit of mental gymnastics to imagine but we'll try to describe it here: instead of lying on your back you are lying on your side. And he is on his side facing you. It's still technically missionary however it's a little more intimate in that it's similar to spooning or cuddling. It can take a bit of practice to get the rhythm right, but we think it is totally worth it. It will also feel totally different from regular missionary. It's amazing how a slight change in position can increase stimulation and pleasure so much!
We love this tip because it's not only sexy but comfortable and practical as well. By raising up your hips, it allows your partner to enter you at a better angle so they can get deeper inside of you. It can be easier than keeping your hips raised, as that can tire you out. A pillow is also super comfortable too, which is why we love it so much! We can't complain about an extra cushion underneath us during sex, of course.
This isn't changing the positioning slightly. Rather this is adding a little something extra to make the missionary position more exciting. We especially love adding in a bit of bondage. If you are on the bottom, try having your hands tied up above your head so you can't move them. That gives your partner on top even more control over you. You could also try being blindfolded or having your hands and arms tied directly to something like the bed. Partners on top can also be partially tied up or blindfolded to increase pleasure and add an extra bit of fun.
This one is similar to putting your legs above their shoulder. However it is a little bit easier to do as it doesn't involve so much movement for the person doing the bending. It also allows for a completely different sensation so it's not a matter of trying one over the other. We recommend definitely trying both positions out! Like with the other positions, this one allows the person on top to go deeper but trust us when we say that it feels completely different!
If you are on the bottom and wanting a bit more control or influence over what is going on, try wrapping your legs around your partner's waist. This allows you to get really close to them and also slows down their thrusting. It can be a great way to tease or draw out your sexy times. Partners on top also like the feel of this because being grabbed at in this way is very sexy and a major turn on. You can alternate by wrapping one leg and then another, but we recommend going for both and hanging on as tight as you can!
We often get so caught up in the penetration part of intercourse we forget about other body parts! When a person is on top, their entire backside is exposed and just betting to be touched. You can drag your hands or nails along their back in a teasing manner, which is the perfect way to increase pleasure, especially when building up to an orgasm. And don't forget about their bottom. You can reach with your hands to give it a bit of a massage. Both soft and hard massage can feel great during sex and it is usually unexpected!
We couldn't mention backs and bottoms without mentioning other body parts too! Like we said before, missionary can often get focused heavily on the penetration aspect of sex. However, you can definitely do so much more with missionary. The partner on top can caress their partner's chest and arms with their hands and lips. And also don't forget the power of a head massage! That can feel extra luxurious during sex. Necks are also sensitive and touching or licking during missionary sex is a surefire way to increase pleasure. Lastly, don't forget about your hands. There are a lot of nerve endings and sensory feelers in hands and stroking hands or holding hands can make missionary feel extra special. Trust us: it isn't as silly as it sounds!
We love how "plain" missionary can be because it opens things up to add in extra fun fetishes or kinks. We already mentioned bondage above. However, there are even more fun things you can add in to missionary sex to make it super exciting. Try a bit of dirty talk or role playing to make the foreplay so much better. We've mentioned blind folds already but what about whips or feathers? These props are a great way to introduce a bit of pain and pleasure sensory play to missionary sex.
We bet you are getting excited about missionary sex now, right? Right! See, with a little bit of extra thinking and exploring, you can make one of the most "boring" sex positions into something super sexy and exciting. This is true for nearly every sex position that gets a bad wrap too. If you encounter any more, we encourage you to utilize similar techniques to really explore with your partner. That is what great sex is, after all! Now get out there and have the best missionary sex of your life!