The short answer to when you should contact a recent hookup is as soon as you feel like it; while it may be tactically correct to wait a while, not everyone has the same reserves of patience as the kinds of people who like to play the field. Contact a hookup when it occurs to you, when it feels natural, and most importantly when you want to. Of course, while some hookups should be left to simmer a while, not all hookups are worth following up with at all -- while still others should be snapped up before someone else nabs them; play it by ear and the right course of action will present itself.
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It may have been a great time, or it may have been a less than great time -- when you have been on a date and you want to reconnect, it is a good idea to know how long to leave it before you reach out again. In fact, one question that gets asked a lot is: when should I contact a recent hookup?
Options include email, Twitter, Facebook, or Tinder or another dating app you may have used to hook up in the first place, and even apps like Instagram or Snapchat. Once you have worked out what medium you are going to use, you may find that it is in fact pretty easy to decide how to move forward -- most apps or media have their own distinct methods of communication
Give yourself a deadline, or even better, draw up a schedule, critical path analysis, or Gantt chart to ascertain the best course of events that will lead you to the holy grail of knowledge, from which you might sup and gain some insight into when you should contact this lovely creature, with whom you so recently enjoyed a period of sweaty fornication. Having a concrete set of steps will help you get results -- plus, at the end you will have some concrete steps.
Thinking about when you should contact a recent hookup raises the obvious question of whatever you should say to them in the first place. This is really up to you, as everyone is different, but you can start with what was so good about your recent hookup.
Well, let us take a look at those two questions in reverse order. First of all, if you leave it too late then it is not a recent hookup, which technically makes the answer no... But In practical terms, the answer to both questions has to be yes, unless the two of you had some kind of magical, mystical, love at first sight type of connection.
Classic. You can't go wrong with a simple, to the point text message. Include a smily face for extra nuance. Good if you are looking for a quick info burst, bad if you need the personal touch.
Great work around if you want to convey info but cannot be arsed to type. The cold call is the go to tool in any hookup artist's kit bag -- use it when you need to remind the other person of how sexy your voice is; do not use if you talk in a grating, petulant whine.
If you want to send a picture, for for Instagram; D or V pics, go through your pal Snapchat; a pithy "how you doing, look what cool-ish I'm up to rn", go for Twitter; a paragraph about what you think about X, Y, or Z, with a pic for good measure, go for Facebook.
Great if you are a stalker and your new hookup loves stalkers, but not good if you are a stalker and your new hookup is a normal human being who gets freaked out by weirdos staring through their windows at 5 am and who calls the cops on losers with no boundaries (we're not looking at anyone).
Again, great stalker territory here, but this one can work if you met them in a store and you want to give them a gift, such as flowers, half a tuna sandwich, or some edible panties.
This is the old school way to go, and some folk really appreciate the personal nature of an email.
If sending an email is old school, writing a letter is sitting on a rock with a slate and a bit of chalk (that's what happened before school happening inside a building was invented -- that's the joke. Yes, this was a joke). Letters are great because no-one writes them any more, (but everyone loves to get them), and postcards can work too, especially if you both live in the same crappy town and enjoy irony.
You name it, if you can use it to get some poor fool's attention, it has most likely been done. Is this the way to go? It really does depend on what kind of person you are, and what kind of person you intuit them to be. Some folk have more than a modicum of pride, and would hate to have attention brought to them in public, while other folk love adventure and romance, and all that other stuff that you may go to see at the movies.
That is if you work with them.
Obviously we are talking grad school, here -- anything college age and up. Point is, if you have classes together, then you may think it best to duck out of them to avoid your recent hookup -- DO NOT DO THAT. Unless you have a serious issue with the dude (in which case this would be a possible matter for the cops), then you should not harm your chances at a good education for the sake of saving yourself some embarrassment. If you like each other -- great, but try to keep it low key and do not lose sight of why you are at school in the first place. If not, then be honest, cut it off before it starts, and cauterise the wound by withdrawing all attention, communication, social media interaction, and so on and so forth.
Good if you are both romantic, or just super hot for each other. Bad if he or she is the aloof type, or if you are the paranoid, needy type.
Christmas. Birthday. Halloween. This can work well if you are the kind who gets their rocks off at the office party, and if they are too; there is nothing like a special event to get people in the mood (drunk), so why not take full advantage of the festive cheer and give him or her a call or text right away?
The weekend works for most people, since most people are off work at the weekend. If you or him or her or all three of you are off work at the weekend then why not consider giving one of them (him or her) a call, text, email, or social media bump? It can back fire on you if the weekend is sacred to him or her -- and it is, to so many people. Your intrusion into their quiet time may not be appreciated. But heck, do it anyway! You have nothing to lose but your pride -- your foolish, foolish pride.
Lunch time at work works well if you work at the same place where he or she works as well. Grab a lunch at the same place, or simply call or text t get a lunchtime at work hookup hang arranged. The one time that lunch time at work would not work is when lunch time is a sacred time to either of you -- and it is, to so many, many people. Who wants to get hit on with half a sandwich in their mouth and January's figures waltzing through their caffeinated cranium? I do!! Pick me, pick me!!!
Yeah... A tricky one. If the loss is on your side and you just need a pick me up, then perhaps you could go for it. If the loss is on their side, then it may look as if you are trying to take advantage of their weakened emotional state, so maybe give it a miss.
This works because the festivities of a shared event, especially if it is a local one that marks you both out as part of a team, for instance if you work at the same office, or if you are on the same sports team, can give you a sense of being bonded in some way. Most sexual relationships tend to be propinquitous, though not all of course, so make use of your close physical proximity and a joyous social occasion to hook up in the office supplies cupboard.
But not after a few drinks.
Yeah, why not. Actually, this is the perfect time period to wait before contacting a relatively unknown hookup. Want to look normal? Don't be a Needy Neddy.
This can work if you forgot your socks at your date's place, or if you just really need to hump them until you're dry.
Great for night owls; not great for morning... whatever the opposite of an owl is.
We have come to the end of our sonaughty.com hookup advice guide -- we hope you know when you should contact a recent hookup! If you are still umming and ahhing about a hookup question, why not take a good, hard look at a couple of our other great advice guides on sonaughty.com!
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